First time
by Vampyrspassion
Summary: KaixRuki from The Gazette. Yaoi Kai finding out that he s in love with Ruki.Oneshot


First time

Kai has always been a descent, warmhearted and lively fellow to all his friends, his family and everybody else that has ever met him. As he grew to be a young, passionate man, he used to have a girlfriend from time to time without getting to serious on it. Something always just didn't feel right. Actually he had the feeling as if something was missing or something was wrong about him. But he never completely figured out what the hell it was. He loved his drums, as if they were the most important thing in his life and when he played them, his smile used to become even bigger. Finally, after a couple of misleading years in several bands he joined the Gazette, which had 4 other members so far. All of them accepted him from the beginning as the best friend one could ever have and loved the way Kai took care about each one of them in either bad or good times. And making French toast for everybody was just one of the things he passionately did for them. Everyone knew, if there are any sorrows you only have to beg Kai to give you one of his irresistible smiles and you were fine again. Of all the members, Kai was especially fond of Ruki, the vocalist of the band. He always had an extra great smile for him and an extra long, warm hug. After a while Kai suddenly recognized that he had fallen in love with Ruki, although he still claimed on being straight. He thought that this might just be a phase or that he wanted Ruki as his best friend. Soon he caught himself staring at Ruki at anytime, admiring his soft lips and burning eyes as much as his shape of body and his looks in costumes and make-up. Everytime he noticed he´s staring at Ruki he forced himself to look away so nobody would realize what´s going on. Secretly he began to suffer and didn´t know what to do, neither if he actually should do anything about it.

The band became famous soon and they started touring around all over the world, staying at hotels with rooms of their own. On this special day, Kai´s room was next of Rukis and he spent most of the time thinking what Ruki might be doing in his room right now. There was a photo shooting that day and he and Ruki were already finished and were about to go back to their rooms to have a rest. At the end of the shooting Kai already felt the urge to pee and when he found out, standing in front of his room, that he had forgotten the key downstairs, he came up with the idea to ask Ruki if he could use his bathroom before going back downstairs. Of course Ruki let him and use the bathroom, which he had to use himself right after Kai. Kai looked at the room Ruki had and noticed that it was kinda messy in here. The bed was covered with clothes and the floor as well. He suddenly saw the shirt on a chair, which he always loved on Ruki and he couldn´t help but pick it up and hold it in front of his chest, looking into the mirror to see if it might fit. Right at this moment Ruki came out of the bathroom and saw Kai standing in front of the mirror with his shirt in his hands. Kai felt embarrassed and handed the shirt over to Ruki mumbling "I´m sorry…". Ruki threw the shirt back on the chair and placed himself right behind Kai, touching his back with his own body. The touch gave him goose-bumps and he tried not to let Ruki notice anything. "Would you like to try the shirt? I´m sure it would look totally sexy on you!" Ruki said while trying to get his hands under Kai´s sweater to touch his naked skin tenderly. When his hands made it it up to Kai´s chest Rukis lips were touching his neck and Kai´s whole body was trembling. Ruki started playing with Kai´s nipples as he softly bit his cheek and Kai couldn´t help it, he began to moan, and the pleasure was written all over his face. He closed his eyes and let Ruki touch his chest more aggressively. Ruki was now sucking on his which definitely would leave a nice red mark, but Kai didn´t mind at all, he wanted it, all the way. All of a sudden Kai had to open his eyes again hastily and look down and his body. He had a hard-on, and it was harder then ever before, somehow he could even feel a little pain because of his excitement. Ruki stopped when Kai made a quick move to see what has happened down there, following his eyes to his pants and gave him a smile that was definitely confident of victory. "Can I take care about it?" he didn´t even wait for an answer and started to open Kai´s pants, struggling with the zipper for a while. After he successfully got rid of the pants he started to rub his erection with his right hand, first softly and slow but soon getting more aggressive, making Kai almost scream of pleasure and excitement. He threw his head back, leaning it on Rukis shoulder, his whole body was shaking and Ruki understood that he was about to come soon, so he stopped, not to let it end too fast. He put his hands on Kai´s shoulder, softly turning him around, making them stand face to face now. Kai was still trying to get his breath back to normal as Ruki softly touched his cheeks, caressing them for a while, then getting closer to him to finally kiss his lips. Kai froze, unable to move or kiss back. Rukis lips were damn soft and tender and he knew that this is exactly what he was longing for all the time. It took at least a minute before he started kissing him back. Their tongues met eventually and when Ruki moved closer, as close as possible, he could feel the other ones erection close to his own. Getting more and more excited once again Kai moved his hands down to Rukis waist and pushed it hard against his body, moving still a little bit shy but horny like never before. It made him kinda proud when he noticed that this made Ruki moan aloud and it also gave him the feeling that he was doing the right thing. Brave he started moving faster. Impatiently Ruki´s hands found their way down to the zipper of his own pants and he opened them without hesitation, his pants falling to the floor. With a couple of movements of his feet he freed himself completely of them. Then he raised his hands to show Kai he should take of his shirt as well. Naked as he was, he stood in front of Kai, still caressing and touching him with passion. Kai felt the naked, warm body close to his and his heart began to beat faster with every touch. Ruki rugged his arms around Kai and pushed him backwards towards the only desk that was placed next of the window in his messy room. Kai almost fell when he tried to climb over Rukis stuff but Ruki didn´t let go of him. At the table Ruki opened a small drawyer and as he was still kissing Kai he was unable to look at what he was doing in the drawyer with one hand, so it took him a while to find what he was looking for. Finally he hold a rubber and lube in is hand and moved a step away from Kai to place the rubber on his own length. Panic was creeping into Kai´s mind when he saw his friend putting on the rubber, he realized what was about to happen afterwards. Kai never had any experience in that, so it made him feel worried and slightly scared. "Um…I´m not sure…if I want this…" he muttered almost not hearable. Ruki looked at Kai´s dark, scared eyes, kissed him and whispered: "I´m sure you´re gonna like it. It´s your first time, right? So I´ll be extra careful and extra nice, promised." Before Kai could answer he felt Rukis tongue inside his mouth again and he so wanted this kiss that he didn´t refuse anything anymore. Ruki turned Kai around, bending him over so he would lean on the desk. He really took his time to get Kai totally prepared, because he didn´t want to hurt him at all. He managed to take away the tension Kai was being under the whole time. This made it almost easy to get inside him. Soon Ruki found the special spot that would please Kai, moving to the rhythm of his breath, going in deeper with every thrust, touching Kai´s erection with his hand again. "I want you so bad, Kai." Ruki moaned in a deadly sexy voice and Kai closed his eyes, moaning louder with every thrust. Just a few hard strokes later Kai was screaming, bending his body, shaking almost unable to breathe when he spilled his white liquid into Rukis hand. This orgasm was the best he ever had it came to his mind. Ruki moved a lot faster now and emptied himself with a loud, almost painful moan inside of him. His upper body leaned on Kai´s back now, taking a rest, trying to find his breath.

Somewhere in between his own orgasm and Ruki´s one, Kai suddenly had a strange feeling and he noticed his eyes filling with tears. It didn´t matter how hard he tried not to let them roll down his face, he just couldn´t help it. He placed his head on his arms still leaning on the desk, hiding his face so Ruki wouldn't notice. As long as Ruki stood behind him, resting, of course he didn´t notice that Kai was crying. But when he finally tried to turn Kai around to take him in his arms, Kai wouldn't let him. Ruki walked beside of Kai, caressing his head, playing lovingly with his soft hair. But Kai still didn´t reply to him as he asks "everything okay, Kai?" It wasn´t until then that he heard Kai´s sad weeping. "Hey Kai, please tell me what´s wrong. We should talk about it. I'm sorry if this wasn´t what you were longing for. I just…". He didn´t really know what to say. How to handle a crying guy after he fucked him passionately? Kai didn´t want to talk and started to get dressed as fast as he could. He couldn´t manage to look into Ruki´s eyes. He was standing next to him watching him confused and helpless. After getting dressed Kai ran out of the room, downstairs to get his keys. He met Uruha halfway down the stairs but he really didn´t want to talk to anybody right now so he tried to get past him. Uruha wouldn´t let him though. "Ah, Kai, something wrong?" Kai shook his head, but of course Uruha had to see the tears which were still rolling down his cheeks. Careful Uruha touched his cheeks to remove some of the numerous little teardrops. Kai aggressively pushed Uruha away from him. "Get your fucking hands off me, right now." he screamed angry and ran away, not waiting for any answer. He found his keys and locked himself in his room where he felt like staying forever.

In the meantime Ruki got dressed, feeling still confused and also somehow guilty of forcing Kai to do this. He wasn´t sure if Kai wanted it or if he actually really forced him without knowing. Lots of thoughts kept going through his head and he decided on looking for Kai and making him talk. Ruki went over to his room and knocked at the door, pretty shy. There was no reply. Kai fairly heard that knock but he didn´t bother to open the door. After several minutes Ruki gave up and sat on his bed, trying to think of anything that went wrong between him and Kai, he just couldn´t find it. For later at that day a practice was planned and Ruki calmly hoped he would get a chance to meet Kai there and take him aside to have a chat. He already should have known that Kai wasn´t about to show up to the practice. Reita was the first to understand that something was wrong with Ruki. He seemed to be so sad, almost depressed. "What´s wrong Ruki?" he asked him friendly. "I´m not sure if I should tell you…it´s about Kai…I think I did something to him without knowing…I guess I´m not supposed to tell anyone, sorry." Without Kai the practice was useless, so they decided they would wait til Kai´s feeling better and went all back to their own business. Ruki went back to his room. He had an idea, maybe not the best, but it might work. It was hard to find some paper and a pen in his room, but after a couple of minutes of searching all over the place he successfully held both in his hand. He thought about what he should write for a while, he didn´t want to choose the wrong words. An hour passed, and then another and he finally looked at the piece of paper which was full of sentences now. Ruki smiled, he was satisfied. Then he folded the paper and walked over to Kai´s door. Fortunately there was a tiny slot between the door and the floor so he was able to slide his letter beneath it. Then he knocked on the door again. "Kai, please read this letter, it should be under the door. Please read it and talk to me afterwards. I´m waiting." And with these words he disappeared in his room again, waiting impatiently for Kai to show up.

Kai had stopped crying a while ago but he still felt weird, confused and disgusted by himself. He heard the knock on his door and sure saw the letter coming in from outside. Nevertheless he stayed lying on his bed a little longer before standing up and getting that mysterious letter. He read it out half aloud to himself:

Dear Kai,

I´m so sorry that I made you cry, I really didn´t mean to. You know, the way you always looked at me made me think that you felt something for me. And to me it seemed as if you enjoyed what we were doing in my room earlier. I definitely did. I have feelings for you, Kai. Pretty strong feelings. It started right when we first met. I thought that you just wanted to be friends with me at first. But then I saw that fire burning in your eyes each time you looked at me. I probably just imagined there would be more than just friendship. I am very, very sorry. Could you nevertheless talk to me? Please. I really want to get things back to how they were before that incident. Although I won´t be able to stop loving you. Yes, I love you, with all my heart and soul. I guess I only dreamed a little too much and I misunderstood your gazes and hugs. Please forgive me, will you?

In love and deep regret,

Ruki

Kai had to read this letter a couple of times cause he couldn´t believe what he was reading. It was true, Ruki loved him, in the same way he loved Ruki. A smile came back on Kai´s face. Now everything would be fine again, he thought to himself. Shall he go over to Ruki right now? He just had to. Kiss his lips again, caress his cheeks, hug him passionately…So he opened the door and knocked on Ruki´s. It opened immediately and without saying a word Kai fell into Ruki´s arms, embracing him warmheartedly, smiling, laughing, caring. Ruki was kinda surprised by his emotional wild hug and he freed himself somehow aggressively. "What´s this all about now?" he asked Kai shy. "Well, I guess I love you too, I´ve always loved you. And I´m so damn happy I could cuddle you to death." A big smile made his face look like a Teddy bear's one. "But what was wrong with you when we…you know what I mean…?" Kai explained the problem, not going into details though. He said that he suddenly had the feeling as if Ruki only used him and wouldn´t actually be gay. Kai thought that this was a one time thing which totally hurt him because he had strong feelings for him. That's why he started crying and running away afterwards. He was feeling embarrassed because this was his first time and that he found out that he´s really gay felt like a slap in the face. Ruki fully understood everything now and took his lover back in his arms. As he kissed his lips, licking his lips, biting his lips, he felt that Kai was getting horny again. "Up for some more?" he asked him teasingly. "Totally." Kai mumbled and pushed Ruki laughing towards the bed.


End file.
